(no subject)

Finally on break from school, everything else at least with eating/weight issue still the same. 
Got a lot of other things going on right now as well. 
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(no subject)

Again, been awhile since I have posted. 
A lot has gone on and changed, going through some hard things right now health wise, that has been pretty over overwhelming. 

Think my weight is the same, maybe a bit less. I'm 5"7, probably about 105 pounds. I'm pretty petrified of the scale, so when I go to the gym, I weigh myself with clothes on, plus my heavy ass gym bag, which alone weighs depending on what I have in it 35-45 pounds. I don't know if anyone else has this weird habit of weighing themselves with things, and then subtracting those things. 

How's everyone else doing?

(no subject)

Been a couple days since my last post. 

Does anyone after working out just feel incredibly sore all over, like it hurts to stand on your feet?
Lately, when I am done at the gym, I just feel totally exhausted and sore all over. Like standing is a task!

I usually workout for almost 2 hours at the gym. So I don't know if that could be why?

I have to go back to the Doctors again to get my blood redone, as some new tech at the lab I guess accidently cancelled my order. My doctor thought it was weird and apologized for it. I really hate getting my blood drawn, but she wants to know how everything is going, since she expressed concern when I saw her. 

I've tried taken Vitamins the past 3 days, after being told I have Anemia, which scared me. 

How's everyone else doing?

(no subject)

Thought I would share on a daily average what I eat/drink:

Water, at the least 3.5 liters

Low Sodium/Low Calorie Soup
about 15 Annie's Cheddar Bunny Crackers
small Cucumbers

usually 1/2 cup of cereal 
frozen veggie mix, brussel sprouts, squash, asparagus

Usually rounds out between 300-500 calories a day

(no subject)

So I have been doing alright. Still struggling with the same issues, but I have been trying to not let it totally take over my life. I decided though today that I would take my 1st multi-vitamin! I was at the store the other day and was glancing down the Nutritional supplement isle, which has protein powder, weight loss pills and vitamins. I must have stood there for at least 10-15 minutes deciding if i should or not, is it going to make me look healthier, the usual thoughts I have. So I finally decided to just try it, I bought some "Alive multi-vitamins", that not only have Vitamins, but fruit & vegetable extracts in them. I sure i must sound like an idiot for thinking that a vitamin is going to make me look healthier! 

Other then that, I am still the same size. I have my ups and downs days. I think though that my bone mass went down a little bit, as my hips seem to have shrunk, which is weird. But due to how unhealthy my diet is and that i barely have any nutrients, that is the perils of it. My hips are about 31-30 inches. The size clothing i wear is still a size 00, and i wear the little girls jeans in Jcpenneys. Which a girl who is almost 5"7 should not wear! 

Besides my eating issue. I am doing okay. Got a week left of school, then I got a week and a half break til next quarter starts up again. I truly love school and even more so that i am closer to finishing my Bachelors. 

How's everyone else doing? I try and come on here more often, but I usually am swamped with homework. 
I would love to hear from some of you!

(no subject)

 sorry i am so lame at posting on here

here are a couple pictures of me

2 of my face and me wearing a baggy sweatshirt

another of me wearing 2 baggy shirts, tights and baggy shorts

i am sitll a size 00 ...but think anymore i look way way bigger

long reply...

Once again it's been long gaps between my posts as well as when i have been on here. For all that i talked to on here i truly deeply apologize. Life was throwing me some pretty harsh curve balls so to say and i gotta admit i wasn't being the strongest nor wisest while dealing with them. 

Things are doing much better now, as far as for generalized terms. My weight/eating issues, whatever to call them....are unfortunately still there and still causing me issues. I have been so stubborn about really facing my issues and getting the help i need and or should.

It's a huge concern to my loved ones and friends, that i fail and do not see the reality of all this, the way i look, what i am doing, etc. I know i have posted many entries as well as replies on this issue. As i am sure if you look through my journal you can get an idea of how i feel/and or view this issue. Needless to say, i do need help, and i am and have been fine with admitting that, i just can't seem to get my ass to get it . lol

I haven't posted pictures in a long time, nor wrote on my journal or to anyone on here. For that i truly and deeply again apologize. I will post pictures in my next entry.

I would love to hear from all of you...if you are all still on here, or even remember me, lol

(no subject)


It's been a very very long time since i have posted. My post today will just be short, as tomorrow i will post another. I am still struggling with my weight/eating disorder, whatever this lovely thing is to be called. It seems that it has only gotten worse. I see myself, as about hmmm lets see 5 times the size that i really am. I will post a couple pictures and would love some honest feed back. The leggings i am wearing, are meant for kids 8-9 years old and are baggy.